Baby Goa’ulds are being sold in Wal-mart stores across the US.
Disguising themselves as harmless aquarium fish the goa’ulds have found a new way to invade earth through Wal-mart’s pet department. If you have unknowingly purchased one of these you are instructed to contact General O’Neil, USAF. Caution these are a very dangerous creature. Keep an eye on other residents of the house—watch for any strange behavior (eg. glowing eyes, speaking in a low resonate voice, or demanding worship) These are signs that the person may be possessed by a goa’uld and is very dangerous at this time. This is yet another example the nefarious deeds of Wal-mart.
As you can see, even pets aren’t safe from these dastardly invaders. There have been countless reports of cats and other earth dwelling creatures becoming infected. In these reports cat have been said to exhibit egocentric behavior such as demanding that they be served, laying around the house acting god-like, and having a generally superior attitude. They have also been known to appear to be plotting to take over the world at any moment.